Monday, August 13, 2012

days gone by...

It's that time again...school is staring up soon. The time of year where I feel that tug at my heart knowing how busy I have normally been this time each year prepping for new students in my classroom. :) 


I have minor struggles ALL the time with this. After all, I worked really hard and for a long time to get my degree and I was so proud of myself and had a great sense of accomplishment for that. Who isn't glad about that when they put so much effort into something? I loved saying that I was a teacher because I was proud of my profession. I still say it. It just rolls off my tongue...and I know I still am teaching my kiddos at home...just not in the setting of a traditional classroom. I think it is just still a part of me because it is still who I am!! I LOVE teaching. I think if you are once a teacher, you are always a teacher. You just become good at taking in information and then giving it back out in a fun, creative way. And...I like that. I like making learning fun. 

I loved the people I worked with. I loved how hard they worked. I loved how we collaborated together and helped each other out. I loved talking to them and having some good friends to see everyday. :)

I still catch myself finding cute little things all the time when I'm out shopping that I could use in the classroom...or with my kiddos. And...with the new addition of Pinterest in my life...well, you can just imagine! :) The options are endless.

So, while I do love that aspect of my life, I love, love, love that I am able to (mostly) be home with my little munchkins. I 100% totally feel that it is the best decision for our family. I feel like this is where God has us in this season, and I don't have a peace right now with anything else...because, yes...I have entertained it sometimes. :)

While there are MANY fond memories of my teaching experience, I also had a stress level that wasn't healthy! Ha! Much stress came along with all the responsibility. The fact was I felt that there was never enough of me to go around, never enough time in a day, and just the pull at my heart when I was away from my kids. I love being a mom...more than anything...more than teaching, and while I have the absolute GREATEST respect for teachers that can spin all those plates, I can't. I know I'm not called to that right now.

I am never happy with a mediocre way of doing things. I always want to SOAR and be the best I can be...and that is just hard in that profession. I constantly struggled with whether it was enough or not. I felt like I needed to put more time in at both home and work...and I couldn't. I was stressed! Let's not even talk about the days I was observed or the crazy random walk-throughs. I was a walking heart attack waiting to happen! I don't know why...because I never did anything different than if I was on my own. It just always made me super nervous. So...when I think about the thought of not having that in my life, I smile. I know that God just has me in a season of simplicity...if I can call this that at all...doesn't really feel like it. :)

So............while I'm not teaching in a corporation or school building this year, I am just CRAZY excited about what I WILL be doing with my kids. We are going to be part of a co-op group with some amazing, 'crazy talented' people this year and doing a new curriculum that I'm stoked about. I feel such a peace and excitement about it. We'll meet once a week for the whole day and the kiddos will have different classes that they go to. As my contribution to the group (as we all have to play a part), I will be teaching Geography to some middle and high school students. We will be 'mapping the world by heart' by the end of the year...literally...or so I hope! :) I took this course when I was in 7th or 8th grade and here I am going to be teaching it. And...our final was literally drawing the entire world, labeling all countries, major rivers, mountain ranges, etc....all from memory. And...I remember doing it. I hope that goes well. Just thankful that God is directing my steps.

All of that to say, there are many things I miss about teaching. But I know that God's plan for me in the past and present season was to be home with my kids...know that beyond a doubt.

When I worked/taught in the classroom, I was all in. And now that I am teaching at home and being a Momma, I am all in, too. It doesn't mean it is always easy to be home....not. at. all. There are days I wish I could go to work with all the craziness at home!! ;) And...whoever thinks that sorta staying home, working a part time job, home-schooling, doing photography gigs on the side with tons of editing afterwards, renovating a house from top to bottom.....was easy...or that it left me time to sit around and eat bon bons...should come over and watch my days! Whew! Sometimes a full time job sounds peachy. :)  

Gotta love the different seasons that God walks you through. And who knows what may be down the road. Luckily, I only need to focus on my DAILY BREAD and not what may or could be ahead. Because, I love where I'm at. 

It's a good place. 

It's a 'God place' and I want to enjoy every second of it. 

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